Have I found my peace?

Well, it's been nearly 3 months now since my breakup with my fiance. It was the strangest ending to a relationship that I've ever had. There was no yelling, no fighting, no mutual hatred or disdain...it was just a coming to terms of reality. The fact of the matter was that reality, at least on my part, was ignored for the better part of the last year of the relationship - maybe more.

Despite spending 3.5 years with this girl, the first month apart actually brought me much joy. I feel blessed that God tore me from her, though it hurts more now than it did at first. I cared about her so much that I made my life about her. So much so that I failed her as the leader by putting my focus on pleasing her rather than God. We were young...we were stupid. High school seniors. What the hell did we know about a good Christian relationship? Nothing. The little parts of our relationship that were actually centered on God were probably the only things that kept us from breaking it off sooner...funny that we used something good and correct to fool ourselves so badly. If only human error was a little less human...

Now, every day I make a conscience decision to search for peace and content in being alone. Some days I'm closer, some I'm farther, others I forget about it completely...I think those are my best days.